"Fuckboy" - The Musical Journey

"Fuckboy - A manipulating dick who does whatever it takes to benefit him, regardless of who he screws over. They will screw over anyone and everyone as long as they get what they want."

Before I begin, I'd like to start by clarifying that not every human being with a penis attached is an automatic fuckboy. No, to become a fully fledged fuckboy, you must be able to hold a conversation about yourself for at-least minutes, you must make sure that whatever you do benefits you more than anyone else, and (probably the most important thing about being a fuckboy) be able to make girls fall for your sickening charm and slimy personality.

If you're reading this, and think I'm coming from a perhaps bitter place, you are right. I am one of the many fortunate people that have encountered a fuckboy, and fallen for him - hook, line and sinker. I wish I could say that I am a better person having come out the other side, but I feel as every girl will have a fuckboy on her ankle, dragging her down like an anchor. 

A fuckboy has the ability to say the perfect things, make you feel all warm and special just by giving you a bit of attention. He will occasionally mix it up by ignoring you for a couple of days, and just as you start to think you'll be okay without him in your life, he'll come back and pull you deeper into the cave of fuckboy-ness. 

You miss me? Oh, I'm sorry. I don't give a shit. (I do, but let's pretend).

He probably says you are great, then talks about another girl asking him out? Or, someone that he is attracted to? Someone who has no resemblance to you, in the slightest? It'll be difficult, but you have to tell him to shut the fuck up (mentally, probably). 

I mean, please do tell me more about how successful you are on tinder. I REALLY want to know.

I really wish I could tell you how to get over him, and how to move on with your life, but I wouldn't know how to. Instead, I am going to take you on a musical journey that will hopefully let us all get over our fuckboys, and find one of those nice guys (pro tip: if they say they're a 'nice guy', they probably aren't).

1. Foundations - Kate Nash

I thought it would be best to start in the place I currently stand. Kate Nash' Foundations documents the break down of a relationship and the desire to hold onto it regardless of it crumbling around you (yes - I am aware I have not actually had a relationship with said fuckboy, but I feel as if I treat it like one, it'll be easier to get over). 

2. Fuck you - Lily Allen

I'm sure we've all come to know, and maybe even love, the hate we feel to our fuckboys (I'm kind of making them sound like pets now, aren't I?). The thing is, they are always going to remain a fuckboy. It's important to remember that you are one person, and you do not hold some magical power to save someone from themselves in your breasts. If they do not see the problem, they are the problem. You can probably never, ever change them, and you'll end up feeling sad and let-down when they remain themselves. It's quite obvious one reason why he is a fuckboy, is because he loves himself - just the way he is.

3. Someone Like You - Van Morrison

I never said this journey won't be emotional. It's like losing a best friend, but you know deep down that a best friend wouldn't treat you like shit. So, have your mope. Be sad. Eat ice cream. Get back up, and go on. 

4. Fuck you - Cee Lo Green 

Now we're back on the emotional roller-coaster some people call life, go back to being angry. That ignorant, self absorbed asshole doesn't deserve you. 

5. Bulletproof - La Roux

Well, here's a bit of nostalgia. Remember there's nothing the god-damned fuckboy can say to you that you don't already know. You are special, you are wonderful, and you deserve better. Whilst he isn't speaking to you, he is undoubtedly super liking some other girl, you can do better. The universe has a plan, and he is not it. (Cheese, but believe it.)

6. Dancing With Myself - Billy Idol

I think people often forget that being single isn't a bad thing. It doesn't mean you are less than those in relationships, it just means you've not met someone you would give your netflix password to yet. Turn Billy Idol up and dance until your heart is content, it's not impossible to have fun on your own. You don't need a man to be stupid with, and you most definitely do not need a fuckboy parasite sucking your love and goodwill out of you.

7. Merry Happy - Kate Nash

"You obviously didn't want to stick around / So I learnt from you". Kate Nash once again has provided us with the perfect song to get over the fuckboy. You don't have to use this experience as an excuse to swear off guys, but a cat and live in a bungalow. You have the rest of your life ahead of you, this fuckboy will most likely go to sleep in 20years time wondering what happened to the girl that got away (YOU BE THE GIRL HE WISH HE DIDN'T FUCK WITH). He isn't your forever person. 

And this is where the musical journey of a fuckboy ends. On a slightly deeper note, these songs have all been written by people that have been hurt by someone. Yet, they have managed to get up and become a success. You are able to be a success without having this asshole around. Someone better will come along, if they haven't already its because you are currently being blinded by the dickhead. 

The moral of the story is, that it never works out with a fuckboy. A fuckboy is a fuckboy for a reason, and that can't change because you want it to. Chances are, he is happy going around being a dick and breaking hearts. He isn't worth your time. 

Now... if I could just take everything I've said on board myself.

Back to Basics - Brighton

Hidden behind the facade of the over-shining amusements set up along the seafront of Brighton's shore is it's (in my most biased of opinions) most admirable features.

Despite the bright lights of the Pier being a classic tourist attraction, making all of those treacherous family holidays that bit more amusing when you're losing track of your pennies in the two pence machines (the sound effects accompanying each coin still rings in my ears), it seems that we are potentially losing what makes Brighton, Brighton- instead unashamedly swarming the place like a moth to a flame.

Taking a few steps back from our comfort zone and wandering a little further into the backstreets of beautiful Brighton allowed us to stumble upon some of the most delightful of terraces and independently run stores. 

When looking beyond the many, many... many chains of coffee shops- and believe me you have to look hard- you are able to come across some beautifully run stores, all cared for like a mother nurturing her child.  The main thing that struck me about visiting the more smaller of businesses was the genuinety of the owners- who seemed to be much more conversational than the almost painfully heard "Hi, can I help you?" (I'm just looking thanks!!!1!!1!!1!!).

Speaking more specifically, whilst we mooched around a selection of independently owned clothing and art stalls, we were enticed by the quirky designs and colours- PASTELS- of "Geek la Chic".

(Chelsea is smitten with her new jumper.)

Despite our easily distracted brains, we managed to get to talking to the lovely young lady named Amy who is currently running the business, and to be completely honest it was a nice change to be able to have an easy-going chat about the brand and upcoming comic con (hella excited by the way.) rather than forced small talk which you'd often find in multi-branch shops. Which just made it clear to us the importance of keeping these businesses going in order to keep the fire of Brighton from burning out.

Because whilst the hustle and bustle of lining up to get your large (or was it Venti?) frappucino is all the more exciting and gives us all a taste of adulthood, why not try sitting back in a café like Artisan for a while- offering tea, tranquility and tremendously free wifi.

Who knows what else you'll find there.

(Bonus: Sambo was superb)

- E&C

Album Review: Badlands / Halsey

"I'm headed straight for the Castle / They wanna make me their Queen" - proclaims Halsey in the opening track of her debut album, 'Badlands'. Perhaps this statement has become somewhat of a reality since the release of the album, that managed to debut at #2 on the album sales chart with 115,000 copies sold in the first week alone, having only a 5 track EP (Room 93) to her name before the release on 28th August 2015.

Halsey has created an album that much of generation Y can relate to, with songs covering a range of themes such as drugs, love and heartbreak. Having addressed this as a 'concept album', Halsey came to realise that the whole concept was a metaphor of her mental state, more interestingly her Bipolar Mental Disorder. In her own words, Halsey said "the metaphor was that even with no escape, there is still optimism that there is somewhere else to go'.

The first single from the album is 'New Americana', narrates how collectively we are discontent with todays society ("survival of the richest"). The choir like chorus, chants "We are the new Americana / High on legal marijuana / Raised on Biggie and Nirvana", serving as a declaration of today's generation.

By far, my favourite track on the entire album is 'Strange Love'. It successfully manages to document how involved other people are in each others relationships, and life in general. "That's the beauty of a secret / You know you're supposed to keep it / But I don't have to fucking tell you anything" shows that she has learnt not to share everything about her life, as she simply doesn't have to. This is something everyone can take away from the song, and if you do want to tell them? You might as well choose the best way to - "I'm gonna write it all down / And I'm gonna sing it on stage".

'Badlands' as an album, is fantastic. As a debut album, it's exceptional. The life lessons this album chronicles are all very real, managing to create a very mature and interesting soundtrack. This is one album I won't get sick of listening to for a while. 

9/10

- E&C